Chapter Four

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Chapter Four

Post by Chasezzz on Thu Feb 25, 2016 8:37 pm

drew
I can think of few things that are more boring than watching a soccer team run through plays I already know. For example: doing Mom’s taxes, Chemistry class, listening to Kate talk about what book she’s reading now. That’s all I got.
“You gettin’ all this, Drew?” The coach yelled from the field. He was a tall guy, hair starting to grey. He seemed tough, but fair, which I guess is the recipe to any good coach.
“Got it.” I yelled back, waiting for him to avert his eyes so I can begin glancing around at the other sports teams. With Kate’s ‘help’, I decided to join the soccer team. I can’t say that I really wanted to pick it back up, but I guess it’s better than smoking myself into a grave. Well, that’s a lie. Really, I knew Kate wouldn’t shut up about it until I joined.
It’d been three days since I’d seen the sun in Snowridge. As long as it isn’t raining I can’t say that’s an issue. My favorite thing to do when it rains is to smoke on the porch, or push Kate in a puddle. I’ve only been able to do that once so far, and she gifted me a massive bruise on my arm for it.
It’s not surprising to see so few people outside today. It was only beginning to warm up outside, and I’d noticed that wind seemed to favor this place. However, there were a few track members and a couple of tennis team members outside. I made sure to glance over at the soccer field every now and then to let the coach think I was paying attention.
***
“You think you’ll be ready to join us tomorrow?” The coach asked, walking over to where I’d been sitting.
I nodded, “I think so.”
“Alright. I’ll have your uniform tomorrow. Medium, right?” I nodded again.
“Hey, who is that over there?” I asked one of my new ‘bros’, Kevin I think.
“At the tennis courts?” He glanced over, taking a second to identify them. “The one with the black hair is Cole, I think, and the blonde guy is Donovan.”
“They’re pretty good.” I’d been watching them more than the track team. They’d been having a lot of long rallies, running back and forth, very physical. Cole liked to hit the ball as hard as he could, but Donovan preferred finesse, trying to outwit his opponent, coming into the net when he could, trying to throw off Cole’s timing, make his next shot awkward as hell.
“Yeah,” Kevin agreed. “They’re our best doubles team. They’ve only been lost since they teamed up a couple years ago. Donovan plays singles, too, though. He’s won the state championship a couple times. Anyway, I’m going to get out of here. See ya, man.”
I looked at my phone. Kate said she’d be here after her meeting with one of her teachers. Hopefully that would be soon.
***
“Hey, I’ll be over by the fields in ten minutes” Kate said over the phone.
“Hurry the hell up, it’s boring out here and I need a cigarette.”
“Shut up and deal with it,” she disconnected the conversation and I jammed my phone back into my coat pocket, brushing my hand against my pack of skylines, making me shiver.
Fifteen minutes. That’s not long, I can handle it.
“Hey, you’re new here, right?” A voice said from behind, making me jump slightly.
I turned around to face him, “Yeah, me and my sister moved here a couple weeks ago.” It was the guy from the tennis court, Donovan I think.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Donovan.” He held out his hand to me, and I slowly shook it, the light reflected off of his silver watch as he pulled his hand back. “And you are?”
“Drew, my sister is Kate.”
“Oh, right. Poppy said she’d ran into you guys last week.”
I grimaced involuntarily. “You’re friends with her?”
Donovan laughed, “As much as anyone can be I suppose.” I chuckled. Donovan seemed like the kind of guy that was designed to put people at ease. His laugh was rich and warm, like a small blanket enveloping my ears. His voice fluctuated, overflowing with charisma. It was easy to see why everyone knew who he was.
“Drew, move your ass!” Kate yelled from the fence.
I rolled my eyes, “Sorry, my sister is an asshole.”
“Hey no worries. It was good to meet you.”
“Yeah,” I replied, “You, too.”
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Re: Chapter Four

Post by Angie on Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:47 pm

Okay, I love Donovan. I also want to read more about Cole, seeing as he's Donovan's counterpart. I also love Drew, and thus far, he is my favorite character. The relationship between him and Kate is what you'd expect from any bro/sis duo, but it's still provides necessary comic relief. Drew's inner struggle with his smoking addiction is also emphasized nicely.

I'm excited to get to know the mysterious characters. I should have known Donovan was who I would be meeting! You have some great descriptors. Not too many, but just the right amount . . . just the amount I like. Now that you got Chapter Four out of the way, go write Chapter Five, and let's hope it comes easier Smile

A few parts I liked in particular:

"I asked one of my new ‘bros’, Kevin I think."

----Ha, this is a great way to mention said character!

"He held out his hand to me, and I slowly shook it, the light reflected off of his silver watch as he pulled his hand back."

----Absolutley love this minute detail.

"Donovan seemed like the kind of guy that was designed to put people at ease. His laugh was rich and warm, like a small blanket enveloping my ears. His voice fluctuated, overflowing with charisma. It was easy to see why everyone knew who he was."

----Omfg, this description. I love it. Donovan is the smile on the face of wickedness. I can feel it.
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